Thigh Gap, Anyone?

          THE THIGH GAP. 
Don’t have one? It may be time to reevaluate your life. 

So, I wrote my response paper for this unit using Phoebe Robinson’s book, Don’t Touch My Hair, as a reference, exploring the ways that the African American community, particularly women, have experienced racial inequality. This topic brought other concerns to mind, so I’ve decided to remix my paper a bit and explore, through a feminist lens, other ways in which society has placed unrealistic and just plain sexist ideals upon women. 

Because let’s face it, there are many ways in which women have been trained and coerced to believe that our bodies are incomplete or that we need to improve ourselves in order that the outside world will find us appealing; that is, according to their standards, not ours. This essentially means that we are not okay the way we are, implying that something is wrong with us. So, as life begins, we are taught (whether directly or indirectly) that we need to “fix” ourselves, creating a lifetime of insecurities and self-doubt.  

One section of Robinson’s book that caught my attention can be found in the chapter, “Dear Future Female President: My List of Demands”, where Robinson explains that her first demand is that the future female President crack down on the, “magazine writers, bloggers, and entertainment news journalists who insist on perpetuating the thigh-gap obsession,” (Robinson 102). After all, these are the people that have encouraged these myths that women have come to believe. And the ridiculous thigh gap is only one example. 

               Since the beginning of time women have been judged on their body shape, breast size, facial features, beauty, hair color and texture, fertility, sex appeal and the list goes on. Over time, those of the female gender have been commodified as a way to please and satisfy others and, as Robinson would say, repeatedly left out of the conversation regarding our own bodies (111). It’s important to get back into the conversation; it has to do with us, with women. 

                  Although the controversy surrounding the recent thigh gap trend can be somewhat amusing (on both sides), the point is that it is simply a symbol of the many bias's that exist within our communities even today and it’s inspiring to come across writers like Robinson who confront the sexism at work within society and call others to action against it. It's so important for future generations of young girls to see women that refuse to be objectified in any fashion. In order to do this, we, as empowered women, need to pay attention to what we watch, how we invest our time and who we spend it with, while also scrutinizing the so-called truth from advertisers and mainstream media, making choices based on what is healthy and good for us as individuals.

               Now, if you sport a thigh gap, more power to you! For me, personally, I don't quite know how I would make it through life. It's my resting place for, well, everything. I would lose my keys, my phone, my kids, who knows? It's better to be on the safe side, I'm sure. I'll have another piece of cake.

        

Unit 3

I felt a connection to robinson's writing that I had not expected. I am a white man who has managed to grow up around a variety of people, while somehow learning almost nothing about them. Robinson talks about becoming aware of your "otherness" as a black person, and while I cannot relate to being a minority or a woman, I can relate to the feeling of "otherness" that comes with being one of the only children in my neighborhood that looked like me. It never bothered me per se, but it did not go unnoticed either.

Of course America's history is marred by racism and prejudice, it is also marked by it's loathing/love for the "Other." It is not strange at all to hear a white guy in the jersey of a black athlete casually tell a racist joke and see no irony in this. Plenty of the rural farm kids that I graduated with, can now be spotted, riding around in compact cars blasting music about things they will probably never see or feel. Look at the Kardashians. Cultural appropriation is real and everywhere. There is a very fitting Paul Mooney quote that I would like to include here, but due to the problematic phrasing, I am going to leave it off. If any of you have watched Chappelle Show, you probably know which one I am referring to.  robinson gave me a lot to digest and I look forward to listening to more podcasts.

Unit Thrice Post

In this weeks blog post I will remix my response paper. This week I wrote about “countering” a fellow student’s blog post again. Countering was extremely interesting. I started out trying to prove my argument against that of my classmate, but then I remembered that I was supposed to add to the existing argument instead of flat out disprove it to make myself seem smart. As Harris writes “its not about proving how smart you are.” The concept of adding to an argument rather than refuting it was very calming.

The energy that goes into refuting an argument always comes off as vindictive or aggressive. This kind of energy can be energy draining, as the core of such a process is usually of the offensive-attack variety. Hating or at least disliking your rhetorical opponent can be unhealthy. But it also leads to more impassioned arguments in some circumstances. This new kind of understanding in order to formulate an idea that furthers the basis of your understanding mixed with the view of what you’re delicately opposing, was very enlightening. It made me think about this method’s implementation in political discourse or intellectual argument amongst anyone. It is a form of mediation away from I hate what you have to say because of this and that.

I believe mediation is the crux of understanding. The worst part about having an argument is when someone gets offended or one person has less respect for the other side than the other side has for them. These imbalances create instabilities that usually crumble the entire argument or attempts at understanding. The argumentative implications of “countering” are larger than the idea itself!  What if people started adding rather than retorting? It all comes back to love and understanding vs. othering and disrespect. The chinese-finger-trap of an argument can only be solved by working together. If you pull and pull and pull you only make it harder to free yourself. If you push together or work together you can get free, or in a rhetorical sense, come to a mutual understanding instead of building your intellectually defining idea of who you are and what ideas you identify/advocate for. This method of “countering” allows for a useful mediation in argument. See who one is dealing with by way of adding to their argument or idea with respect. Harris is saying poke, don’t stab. By countering one is making the effort to add instead of change an argument. To me, that’s priceless.

Every argument nowadays sounds like a fight over control and persuasion. Harris made me question that method’s assumptive position as the best way to find a consensus is a “war of idealism.” At the end, last person standing is the winner. Argument always comes off like sports. There has to be a winner to be an ending. I hate this. Harris provided a context where one could come into contact with an opposing viewpoint but instead of changing the other person’s mind with your ideas, which are completely separate to theirs, one could add to the opposing viewpoints ideas and challenge from within by adding rather than trying to surround the opposing opinion. 

My Connection to Robinson's "You Can't Touch My Hair"

I am super excited to write this Blog! After reading Robinson's, "You Can't Touch My Hair" I am purchasing the book. It is a done deal, I must read more! The reading was extremely captivating, and I could not help but to develop a personal connection with it. I wish I would have held off the content on the last blog and saved it for this one. However, I am going to relate this to my personal experience again, but in a different light.

To start, just by looking at the title I already made a connection with this book. I thought to myself, “Yes! Finally someone is talking about this!”. Side note: As a biracial female, I am NOT the spokesperson for black or biracial people. Everyone’s experiences and background differ. Okay, I know my hair texture is different, but you should not touch people’s hair without asking. It’s super annoying when people, sometimes complete strangers, approach you and start running their fingers through your hair. First of all, you should never put yourself in that kind of danger. If you attempt to run your fingers through my hair, they will get stuck, and I am not responsible for your injuries. Secondly, after you have fought for your life to keep your fingers, you have now angered it (I use personification because it truly has a mind of its own). And it will remain angry until I get home to fix it. So please, please, please, do not touch the mane. 

Robinson discusses the phrase "good hair". In our society that term is linked to anything but black people hair. Hogwash. We all have good and bad hair days. You cannot associate a specific race and hair texture as "bad". For most of my life I too thought I had "bad hair". I always thought straight was somehow better. After a while I came to a point in my life where I was tired of fighting and learned to love it. However, that does not mean I have to only be curly. If I wanted to cut my hair short I could rock an afro! If I wanted a weave I could go to a store and buy a bundle! There is so much one can do with their hair. Experimenting with different styles and textures, does not discredit your own. I love my curls, on the good and bad days!

Phoebe notes that her inspiration was the artist Res. I think it's important to credit your inspirations. Therefore, I want to spotlight some people who have inspired me over the course of my self-love journey. Growing up most biracial girls I knew hated their hair and always straightened it. So I turned to YouTube. The first Youtuber that inspired me to accept my hair was SunKiss Alba. She is an incredible person and I love that she is all about being 100% natural. She does not use anything toxic on her hair, skin, or in her diet. I think this was what attracted me the most to her. My hair would not be in its current, healthy state it I had not stumbled upon her videos.

SunKiss Alba: 

Sheesh, what a Queen!

 Another inspiration that helped me embrace myself as a biracial woman in general is Samantha Maria. She’s a YouTuber in London. She often discusses her own struggles as a biracial person and it is always comforting to know there are other girls out there just like you, from all over the world. I love her bubbly, free spirited personality and edgy style! She has taught me a lot from my biracial identity to other lessons I have applied in my life. She has shown me that it is my choice on who I want to be as a person. 

Samantha Maria: 

Just wow. Another Queen!

It is astonishing how most of us go our whole lives without ever meeting our celebrity icons and inspirations, yet they have such a heavy impact on our lives. Robinson addresses that when she first discovered Res, she looked over her shoulder as her. Then once she gained her own self-identity and confidence she looked over her shoulder as Phoebe (26). Truly remarkable. Each YouTuber has helped shaped my life in some way and I am forever grateful for what I have learned and gained from them. 

Who inspires you? I would love to know! They don’t have to be celebrities or YouTube influencers.