Unit Six - Civility

For my response paper this week, I discussed Lili Loofbourow's article, "The End of Male Approval in Comedy," and specifically, I discussed her focus on Tina Fey's and Rachel Bloom's attitudes towards their hosts. Loofbourow seems to imply that one of the most admirable aspect of the women's interviews was their ability to combine congeniality with a confident, assertive attitude. I agree that their pleasant behavior is admirable, but I disagree with how important it is. Should civility be considered a requirement when fighting for recognition, or a luxury? Or is it neither?

When it comes to Loofbourow's article, I'll be the first to admit it, I'm nitpicking. Her preoccupation with the "pleasant" and "friendly" nature of both Bloom and Fey, and her praise of them "not charging toward confrontation" rubbed me the wrong way. After all, haven't a lot of the women we've read about in this course been confrontational? Phoebe Robinson's satire in You Can't Touch My Hair is constantly on the offensive as she anticipates insensitive questions, like "Can I tell people I have a black friend now?" (xxxi), and responds to racist incidents she's encountered in her personal life and in the media.

Phoebe Robinson, source: Facebook.

Cameron Esposito mocks comedians who defend their offensive jokes in her special Rape Jokes, mimicking them responding to criticism and telling her audience, "And then that comic will go, 'This is censorship. I am being censored'" (10:41-10:53). Esposito's attitude remains light throughout her special, but there's still an edge as she discusses people who have hurt her throughout her life and the incapability of people, comedians and otherwise, to take simple steps to avoid hurting others more.

Cameron Esposito, source: Vanity Fair.

Hannah Gadsby, in her powerful special Nanette, gives the most decisive answer when she says to her audience: "This tension, it's yours. I am not helping you anymore. You need to learn what this feels like" (1:00:17-1:00:25). Gadsby's performance is the one I thought of the most when reading Loofbourow's argument, because while Esposito and Robinson are often playful and use humor to avoid being outright confrontational, Gadsby specifically tells her audience that she's not going to make them feel better. She lets them know that she's suffered a lot of discomfort at the hands of people like them, and that it's their turn to "learn what this feels like."

It also strikes me as a distinctly feminine issue. Frances Gray writes about how men shut women out of comedy by describing them as "thin-lipped and humourless" (8), and Regina Barreca also discusses how women "are supposed to give the desired response instead of expressing whatever response is actually our own" (5). Common civility dictates that there will always be some aspect of holding back in a social element, but to what extent is that expectation gendered? When Loofbourow describes "the shadow of a 'gimme a break' expression crosses Fey’s face, and then it’s gone" when Fey is faced with an obstinate David Letterman, is Fey's self-restraint because of social obligations, gendered obligations, or because she's just that classy? Moreover, when women have been expected to uphold this semblance of civility for centuries, it is really a new, "'third way'" (Loofbourow), or is it only upholding old standards?

I don't know that being combative and confrontational is a better way to be. Honestly, I think that Fey and Bloom behaved in the best way that they could, even as they toed the line between behaving pleasantly and asserting themselves. Because in that "shadow of a 'gimme a break' expression," we know that Fey made a choice to be civil. She even tells us in Bossypants that she doesn't think one should "waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions" (145). Though Loofbourow doesn't make this argument, Fey's reaction shows that she knows and is capable of being uncivil in a heartbeat. She has chosen for herself not to waste her energy, but whether the rest of us women want to take that challenge is our own choice.