A small warning: This blog post contains spoilers for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If you haven't seen the show and are worried about decades-old spoilers, well, I'd be surprised, but I thought I should warn you anyway.
We’ve talked a lot about self-deprecating humor this
semester. Regina Barreca writes that "it's okay to be funny if you're a woman as long
as the only thing you're laughing at is yourself—or other women" (24), demonstrating how that kind of humor can only put women down. Hannah Gadsby tells her audience, "I have built a career out of self-deprecating humor. [...] And... I don't want to do that anymore" (17:40–17:50). She tells us how self-deprecation from people who are marginalized can be harmful to them, saying, "It's not humility. It's humiliation" (18:00–18:05). Moving away from the comedy for a bit, Gadsby's discussion of marginalized communities, and especially the way they can internalize the hatred others show towards them, made me think of the first lesbian characters I was ever exposed to in media.
Their names are Willow and Tara, from the T.V. show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and aside from being a cute couple, they're also two powerful witches.
Willow, portrayed by Alyson Hannigan, on the left. Tara, portrayed by Amber Benson. Source: "Once More with Feeling." Buffy the Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon, season 6, episode 7, Mutant Enemy, 2002.
Both women are wonderful (the actresses and the characters), but the person Gadsby reminded me of was Tara. Tara Maclay was introduced largely to be a love interest for the character Willow Rosenberg, and while her character was developed more fully later on, in the early episodes, she was a timid woman ashamed of her identity.
A lot of her identity issues actually stemmed from her being led to believe she was a demon, but the metaphor is still there. Source: "Hush." Buffy the Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon, season 4, episode 10, Mutant Enemy 1999.
Tara and Willow were on my mind as I watched Hannah Gadsby's Nanette, because immediately before the comedy special, I had rewatched the episode where Willow comes out and reveals her relationship with Tara. The episode focuses on Willow and her confliction as her ex-boyfriend Oz returns to town wanting to reignite their relationship, just when Willow was beginning to move on with Tara. Tara's reaction to the news, however, is heartbreaking.
Source: "New Moon Rising." Buffy the Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon, season 4, episode 19, Mutant Enemy 1999.
With the arrival of Oz, Tara's automatic assumption is that Willow will naturally go back to be with him. At this point in the series, everybody knew her as only a "friend" of Willow's, and while still wanting to be Willow's friend, Tara was comfortable with being cast aside as soon as Oz returned. Her self-esteem was so low that she never expected anything better.
Source: "New Moon Rising." Buffy the Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon, season 4, episode 19, Mutant Enemy 1999.
This episode aired in 1999, and while Buffy the Vampire Slayer was relatively progressive for its time, homosexuality was, as it still is, an awkward subject for people. Part of Tara's reaction to this situation is related to her backstory, but for the most part, it's very telling about the vulnerable position homosexuals were in during that time period. Women were less in the spotlight than men, as Gadsby said, "in all the debate about... homosexuality... no one ever really talked about the lesbians" (04:50–05:05), which is perhaps why Joss Whedon felt comfortable with having a lesbian couple on the show rather than a gay one, but episodes like this show that having an "easier" time doesn't mean having an "easy" time. The main conflict of the episode, after all, is Willow's ex-boyfriend getting captured after he turns into a werewolf... triggered by a fit of rage at discovering that Tara is Willow's lover.

Oz on the left, portrayed by Seth Green. Gotta love those late '90s special effects. Source: "New Moon Rising." Buffy the Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon, season 4, episode 19, Mutant Enemy 1999.
The episode highlights the delicate situation Tara is in, and even without context for her character, it's easy to understand why she would have such a hard time believing in her relationship when, at that point, even Willow was still hiding it from everyone. Tara was afraid, had grown up in an oppressive environment that taught her she had no worth, and thought it was only natural that Willow would leave Tara once Oz came back. Luckily for Tara, she was wrong.
Source: "New Moon Rising." Buffy the Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon, season 4, episode 19, Mutant Enemy 1999.
Tara and Willow will always be one of the most iconic lesbian relationships in my mind. It took a long time, but eventually, together with Willow, Tara began to see her own value.
People familiar with the show probably know how this relationship goes, but I'm just going to focus on the good episodes. Shhh. Source: "Once More with Feeling." Buffy the Vampire Slayer, created by Joss Whedon, season 6, episode 7, Mutant Enemy, 2002.
Like any relationship, Tara and Willow go through their ups and downs, but they supported each other. When Tara was at her most vulnerable, she found she had a group of friends to fall back on. As we start the month of June, I hope we can all do our best to support the LGBTQ people in our lives—including ourselves, for those whom that applies to.
Tara and Willow are always going to be iconic for me, but who was the first LGBTQ character you saw in media? Do you think they were a good representation?